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Following a biker bar extravaganza, the girl band bang bus breaks down on the way to their next gig. Mayhem ensues when the ladies in distress end up with a tow to a junkyard full of mad dogs and an Englishman.
* Some assembly may be required.
* * * SPOILER ALERT * * *
* sings *
Everybody was kung-fu fighting…
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It all could have been avoided had she shot Thelma.
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Get taken hostage just one time and all the shit in your life turns to sunshine. Can I get an uh-huh!
Although, it does have a manic Robin Williams playing himseslf.
* * * SPOILER ALERT * * *
Shoot me now.
*** SPOILER ALERT ***
Matt Damon Some guy, wounded and adrift at sea, is picked up by a pearl diver fishing boat, stitched up and brought back to life. There was no secret microchip projector under the floater’s skin. Sensing there is no money to be had, the rescuers decide to drop Matt off at the local American army recruiting station. Typical of the operational style of the American military, nay, American tourists around the world in general, no one speaks the local lingo.
Fortunately for the aforementioned sailor, someone in the Army does speak English. And thus, Nicolas Cage is forever doomed to perdition.
Much Jiu Jitsu ensues as the Alien Predator something chases down everyone in the jungle wheat field.
It’s the comet, silly.
** Unlike African Kung-Fu Nazis, I didn’t watch all of this, so I could be wrong. To be truthful, I didn’t watch all of African Kung-Fu Nazis, either, so byte me.
*** SPOILER ALERT ***
Trump Adolph boards his submarine and makes for Ghana. Or something. Kung-fu hilarity ensues. The white-face blacks are a nice touch. Not recommended, but watched solely for the amusement factor. I guess.
Hang me now.