Dear CBC News Now with Heather Hiscox

Updated: In August of 2014 I happily dumped cable in its entirety. Too bad. So sad. I could care less how those flapping arms behave.

I miss nothing about television. In fact, with internet radio and the abundance of ’40s and ’50s noir radio detective shows and other programming, I’m quite enjoying being back in the mid-20th century.

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Will someone puh-leese tie down and secure the hands of that person reading your news in the a.m.? It has really become quite comical to watch Ms Hiscox as she constantly waves her hands and arms wildly in a meaningless attempt at emphasizing every mundane sentence that she pronounces. Gravitas be damned! Jabbing. Pointing. Waving. Circling. Gesturing wildly. Does she really think that it adds anything relevant to what she says, does, or reads?

As a joke, someone must have given her a pair of leather mittens to wear while she is in Yellowknife attending a winter carnival, knowing what she would do. The black thumb remains extended in perpetuity, erect like a middle finger demonstrating fickle fate. She waves this hellhole of darkness at all and sundry, while her hand within is clenched fervently against the cold. Opposite, a clenched and gloved fist complete with terrifying, empty cloth fingers flop wildly with every motion.

In the studio, it is no better – minus the black hands, of course. The woman cannot be restrained.

Please, for the love of God and the Dominion, can someone, anyone, anywhere, tie that woman’s hands behind her back whenever she is on-screen?

Thank you.

6 thoughts on “Dear CBC News Now with Heather Hiscox

  1. Just watched the interview with our relay team. How awful. Surely we have more skilled talent than Heather Hiscox. What an embarrassment.

    • Yeah, well… I had to tune in on the CBC website to watch the ten-minute slog. I wonder if The Heather will be retired by the time the next four year rotation rolls around. Here’s hoping for all you tv watchers out there.

  2. I haven’t noticed Heather Hiscox flapping her arms around, possibly because I only watch her for a few seconds, mostly to see if she is not on the air. I have definitely noticed her arms though. Who can miss them? Heather is always wearing sleeveless outfits for some reason. We could all do without seeing her arms first thing in the morning – or ever. I tried watching her just now, switching from CNN’s New Day show, and as usual she is in a sleeveless dress and lasted only a few seconds with me. I wait to watch Canadian news in the morning when her shift is over or she is not working that day. I don’t know what it is, but she has such a weird, slow way of speaking. It’s like she’s in front of a kindergarden class and feels the need to enunciate each word and therefore make each sentence seem like a paragraph. I feel the same way about CNN’s Wolf Blitzer, I can only watch him for a few seconds as well. He drags out each word but also has odd breaks here and there, where there shouldn’t be a break. Like when he says thank you very much. He says it thank ………….you…………….verrrrry much.

    • I can’t say I watch CNN. I dropped cable television two years ago and habit web-tv for what I choose to watch. From what I read, CNN has gone the way of pandering to the sTRUMPet, along with all the other money-grubbing American networks whose corporate bottom line depends on ad revenue. Trump’s circus certainly provides the viewers, and thus the paid ads.

  3. My pet peeve about Heather Hiscox is her fervent need to pronounce anything she perceives as French with her most exaggerated French accent. Yes, we know that advancement within the CBC requires the ability to converse in both official languages but you are a presenter on ENGLISH CBC and not every newscast is for your resumé reel.

    Radio Canada (French CBC) does not go out of it’s way to pronounce English peoples’ names with an Anglicized tone….

    • Pan Am games coverage + Heather Hiscox = Exaggerated pronunciation of french athlete’s names.

      She is too much.

      BTW, you don’t hear her pronounce Spanish or Chinese names with her special fair… just be consistent!

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