I read Salon.com and The Onion. Thank you, Amerika, for being so fucking stupid.
I relish the new classification of Enemy of the United States and the intense questioning by the dumb fucks “guarding” the sieve known as the AmericanCanadianMexican American border or whatever it’s called, depending on the flavor of the day and who’s doing the pissing leaking.
I can hear the questions already: Have you ever read Salon? Are you bringing any Onions into the country? (Obviously the dumb fuck who asks about transporting Onions watches Faux News.)
“It’s about people’s profiles, their approach to work, how they interact with management. Are they cheery? Are they looking at Salon.com or The Onion during their lunch break? This is about ‘The Stepford Wives,’” said a second senior Pentagon official, referring to online publications and a 1975 movie about robotically docile housewives. –some anonymous Insider Threat Program employee
Insider Threat Program? Stepford Wives? WTF is with that? When will Fox Faux News viewers be added to the list? If anyone is a threat, it’s the dumb fucks that watch that shit that deserve the fickle finger of the Insider Threat Program.
is like tuning in to a hillbilly hoarders reality teevee nightmare. The advertising agency that came up with that idea should be drawn, quartered, and sentenced to grandma’s house for an extensive cleanup of the hoarding mess. The Febreze executives that green-lighted it should be fired.
The bad: I was going to present an imaginary conversation with the company executives, but I figured just one viewing of any of their commercials would be enough to make everyone in the trailer throw up.
The good: If you were stupid enough to buy into the hype, you can walk into your trailer’s bathroom and squeeze one out* to cover up the refined bouquet of the puke.
*No, silly. I was thinking more along the lines of squeezing one out of their fragrant bottles. Although, if one does run out of underwear, one could always Febreze the shit out of it. I guess.
Apparently, if you’re native, you live in Ontario, and you blockade a road, even a court order directed towards the O.P.P. by a sitting judge means nothing. Unfortunately, if you’re white, marauded by natives and a resident sitting on your own property in Southern Ontario, the Ontario Political Police will remove you from your home and threaten you with imprisonment so as not to disturb the sleeping indians – but that’s another story on the ineffectiveness of law and order in a province besieged by indians and not enough cowboys. What an embarrassment for an actual police department.
What a joke. Not only that, but they’ve capitalized it.
Proposed legislation in New Hampshire, that self-proclaimed bastion of freedom or death, would be sure to keep ’em down on the farm. Jesus, what’s with those people?
Notwithstanding any other provision of law, no person, including a business owner or employee thereof, shall be required to provide services, accommodations, advantages, facilities, goods, or privileges to an individual if the request is related to the solemnization, celebration, or promotion of a marriage and providing such services, accommodations, advantages, facilities, goods, or privileges would be a violation of the person’s conscience or religious faith. A person’s refusal to provide services, accommodations, advantages, facilities, goods, or privileges in accordance with this section shall not create any civil claim or cause of action or result in any state action to penalize or withhold benefits from such person.
