* * * SPOILER ALERT * * *
W.T.F.
Who are these annoying people? Why are they so uninteresting? Who’s doing the talking? What are they saying? Turn on the frigging lights so I can see.
Por favor.
Rouge* 1: 0, because you can’t even smear lipstick on this pig, and even if you could, it would still be a lipstick-covered porcus.
*Thank you, Silly Sarah.
*** spoiler alert ***
Great campy fun, but but but where’s the cameo by the originals? Sadly, missing.
*** SPOILER ALERT ***
Wrong-way Corrigan The Magic Hand heads out because 72 virgins and because steering wheel. She gets chased because too many steering wheels and ends up doing a 180. Because Santa’s air guitar. Things explode. Water. Because sand.
Also: Bolt cutters.