* * * SPOILER ALERT * * *

A black man is allowed to teach history in a mythical communist, err, community, located somewhere on the best coast. Or the mountains. Pensive teenagers take notes while earnest paratroops land and create havoc by shooting up a variety of muscle cars in the school parking lot.

Traitors Democrats Communists Americans The Mayor votes to surrender to the Cossacks as hordes of illegals cross the border and swarm the state’s gun shops to confiscate registered weapons. Dissenters are relegated to the gulag and cages staffed by CBP regulars.

Dad gives the “Buck up” speech and begs to be avenged. Everyone loves everyone else. Ben Johnson spells it out for the loyal Republicans still on the loose and hands over family heirlooms. And horses. Uppity white wimmins almost cause the loyalist Republicans to be captured when they refuse to do laundry for de menfolk.

Nuns pray in the background as holes are dug. Communists Democrats Communists sing patriotic ditties while being machine-gunned via the ubiquitous African Credit Card. The Mayor covers his eyes and looks sad.

Hearts and minds. Thoughts and prayers. And horses.

Wait. Wut? Charlie Sheen? Is that you?