* * * SPOILER ALERT * * *

What people did before the ubiquitous cell phone became available – nothing, apparently – besides sex without having to sign a binding contract.

An unrecognizable Antonia Banderas Mickey Rourke as, believe it or not, an arbitrager – hey, Mickey, dat youuuuuu??? – lays siege to an undeniably beautiful Melanie Griffiths Kim Basinger before plastic surgery.

He likes to cook. Of course he does.

And, it’s the happenin’ ’80s, so we must cue boppin’ to the Walkman. Answering machines. CD players.Slide projectors. Sweaty, back-lit masturbatory fantasies. Garter belts and dark stockings. Actual dial telephones with a ring tone that can’t be changed. Phone booths..

Etchings. A taste of honey. Kinda like today’s foodie blog.

I quite enjoyed v1.0 of a seemingly happy-looking Mickey and Kim.