*** SPOILER ALERT ***

See Natalie Portman acting wander around in a slo-mo daze sleepwalking for two – count’em, TWO – freaking hours. I didn’t spend that much time with her. Fortunately, I was able to borrow a pencil. I gouged BOTH of my eyes out with sharp, pointy lead after the first twenty minutes.

If you pay good money for this dog, I recommend you do the same after you find your seat. Be sure you have someone to lead you home at the end of this travesty.