Ed Burkhardt, you beyond stupid son of a bitch, spring the bucks for a passport you so obviously don’t have and get your fat, wrinkled, white Yankee ass to the site of your latest public relations disaster. Even though everything you know about a foreign country says that Canada is a socialist, almost-communist state with “free” healthcare (since the ’60s, I might add), go there anyway. You know, like after you actually get a passport in order that you can go back where you came from, the sooner the better. Don’t be afraid. Your own government won’t likely put you on a no-fly list, even if you do read satire and salon.com.

The citizens of Lac-Mégantic won’t tar and feather you with the product you transport – at least, not until they separate you from your bodyguards.

This stupid shit, Burkhardt, actually joked that he would need a bullet-proof vest to visit Canada. Doesn’t the dumbass know that Canada isn’t a state in Amerikuh? That’s a rhetorical question, by the way, for you Americans who don’t get Canadian humor.

Twenty dead, fifty missing, and Brian Williams turns it into a geography lesson for Americans. Apparently, the dumbasses don’t know they have a state called New Hampshire. Check out the video and snooze through a litany of what constitutes New Hampshire. Or, visit salon.com and be declared an enemy of the United States of America.