I read Salon.com and The Onion. Thank you, Amerika, for being so fucking stupid.

I relish the new classification of Enemy of the United States and the intense questioning by the dumb fucks “guarding” the sieve known as the American Canadian Mexican American border or whatever it’s called, depending on the flavor of the day and who’s doing the pissing leaking.

I can hear the questions already: Have you ever read Salon? Are you bringing any Onions into the country? (Obviously the dumb fuck who asks about transporting Onions watches Faux News.)

“It’s about people’s profiles, their approach to work, how they interact with management. Are they cheery? Are they looking at Salon.com or The Onion during their lunch break? This is about ‘The Stepford Wives,’” said a second senior Pentagon official, referring to online publications and a 1975 movie about robotically docile housewives. –some anonymous Insider Threat Program employee

Insider Threat Program? Stepford Wives? WTF is with that? When will Fox Faux News viewers be added to the list? If anyone is a threat, it’s the dumb fucks that watch that shit that deserve the fickle finger of the Insider Threat Program.

At least now ICP (the Insane Clown Posse) will get some long-needed relief from stupidity.