Dear 360 Safe Global

360 Safe Global, your software is trash.

Where’s your user forum? Where’s your user support? Where do I go find out why I’m unable to run a program after I’ve installed your software? Why won’t my software run on my laptop after installing your trash?

Why must I send an email to beg for support?

360 Safe Global, this is for you: Your software is trash.

In other words, go back to the drawing board. Take your time. I’m not the only one that is having problems with your simply mah-velous shit.

Bye-bye.

Dear CBC News Now with Heather Hiscox

Updated: In August of 2014 I happily dumped cable in its entirety. Too bad. So sad. I could care less how those flapping arms behave.

I miss nothing about television. In fact, with internet radio and the abundance of ’40s and ’50s noir radio detective shows and other programming, I’m quite enjoying being back in the mid-20th century.

*

Will someone puh-leese tie down and secure the hands of that person reading your news in the a.m.? It has really become quite comical to watch Ms Hiscox as she constantly waves her hands and arms wildly in a meaningless attempt at emphasizing every mundane sentence that she pronounces. Gravitas be damned! Jabbing. Pointing. Waving. Circling. Gesturing wildly. Does she really think that it adds anything relevant to what she says, does, or reads?

As a joke, someone must have given her a pair of leather mittens to wear while she is in Yellowknife attending a winter carnival, knowing what she would do. The black thumb remains extended in perpetuity, erect like a middle finger demonstrating fickle fate. She waves this hellhole of darkness at all and sundry, while her hand within is clenched fervently against the cold. Opposite, a clenched and gloved fist complete with terrifying, empty cloth fingers flop wildly with every motion.

In the studio, it is no better – minus the black hands, of course. The woman cannot be restrained.

Please, for the love of God and the Dominion, can someone, anyone, anywhere, tie that woman’s hands behind her back whenever she is on-screen?

Thank you.

Send in the clowns*, or, America: Too stupid to STFU

“You just don’t invade another country on phony pretext in order to assert your interests… This is an act of aggression that is completely trumped up in terms of its pretext. It’s really 19th century behavior in the 21st century.” –some American clown

Rah! Rah! Rah!

Jesus, America. Really? Obviously, The Clown The Pustule on the crack of the ass known as America had his fingers crossed behind his back or he would have choked to death on his own bile.

Thanks to salon.com, that traitorous blog, for stating the obvious.

* with apologies to Stephen Sondheim

Let us all praise Der Homeland Stasi’s latest threat to The Homeland

Not satisfied with its earlier February non-warning about deadly, exploding toothpaste, as well as their inability to find any of said deadly, exploding toothpaste, Der Homeland Stasi now has come up with a new threat an old threat re-visited. That’s right, komrads of Der Homeland. It’s shoes. Bombs in shoes. Exploding shoes. Breast implants. Buttock implants. Breast milk. You dirty komrads are exceeding the bounds of believability.

Next?

Danger Will Robinson.

I think it is fantastic that America isn’t the only country bugging phone conversations

American foreign policy – the country has a foreign policy, right? – triumphs yet again.

How not to Install an American puppet in Ukraine. Victoria Nuland

Thanks to the BBC for the informed comment.

As well, a view from Canada.

What goes around, comes around, and will bite you in the ass more often than not:

Awkward attempts to question “morality” in such revelations sound especially hypocritical from a global spying power that monitors and controls most of the mobile phone and internet users activities, taps the phone lines of world leaders, and oversees the world’s most far-reaching wire-tapping program. –globalresearch.ca

Oh yeah!

Reportedly, Obama the Black Butcher wants to kill a U.S. citizen with a drone strike

What’s stopping Obama from launching the drone strike? He’s never been averse to killing a U.S. child on foreign soil, or the child’s father. I’m surprised that he’s even hesitating.

Better yet, bring the guy home and kill him on U.S. soil by means of a drone strike. That would put to rest any semblance of recognizing that the country has a Constitution, to be sure. And that killer Obama is a Constitutional lawyer. Jesus, but does it never end for a country that has become no better in some ways than a third world dictatorship?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/10/drone-attack-controversy_n_4758546.html

Apparently, it’s quite “controversial.”

No guns. “Another reason not to venture to the dark north.”

“Screw Canada.”

It’s all because someone thought didn’t think:

“it’s not beyond the realm of possibility that someone would forget a gun in their car,” a Canadian lawyer said. It’s no different than leaving a pair of hockey skates in your car in Canada. And you American basterds stole all of Canada’s Good Hockey Players.

Sorry, but I just couldn’t help editorializing with that last sentence. I am driven to say that Canadian and lawyer are kind of an oxymaroon when taken in that context.

Thank you, American Gun Nuts supreme. Canada needs more publicity like this in order for that wall to get as high as possible. Please tell everyone. Oh, wait. The NRA is quite capabley doing that.