Thus sayeth the grand poobah dictator chief of Kahnawake, Quebec in a televised interview on why how the Kahnawake casino slum indian reservation wants everyone with bad the wrong non-native blood off of their rez in ten days. Getting a tad racist are ya, boys?

Link to article here.

Here’s another news flash, chiefey:

If you don’t consider yourself Canadian, how about paying back the hundreds of millions of dollars you’ve accepted from actual tax-paying Canadians over the generations? To be just a little blunt, if you don’t like it where you are, then go somewhere else.

Hmm?

< sound of cricket chirping >

Yeah, I thought so.

Perhaps you might want to

• talk to the province of Quebec (which, so far, is still in Canada the last time I checked) about that Kahnawake, Quebec designator in your postal code.
• form your own little third-world country within the borders of Quebec and find out how that will fly with those friendly, neighboring separatistes;
• join Haiti in a “commonwealth of first nations poverty;”
• join the United Nations and apply for even more money to waste on your brand, spanking new “nation.”  The rest of the world’s oppressed peoples will be happy to fund your rez-olution.

Because, you know, when you get to be your own country, you can do whatever the hell you want, to anyone you want, any time you want, as long as they’re in your own brand new dictatorship country:

Just beat it, Kahnawake

• pound on your desk while making proclamations;
• “allow” citizens to wear triangles squares doo-rags of varying color to denote their level of purity;
• ship your citizens off to gulags;
• build ovens;
• burn, bay-bee, burn.

And chief, thank you for demonstrating once again that stupidity isn’t limited to white people.

Oops, did I just say white people?

If we choose to endure the childish indignity* of an airplane ride, CATSA and the TSA forces each of us to pass successfully through airport security by

• dumping our lives into a plastic bin;
• enduring the indignity of being seen as a hijack-crazy, bomb-wearing, foaming-at-the-mouth terrorist, whether we are white, non-Muslim, an 80-year-old grandmother with a cane, or even eight years old.

Just try and complain about all of that silliness and stupidity, and you’ll end up being subjected to further indignities, none of which will prove anything.

Then, when it’s all said and done, and you get on board the aircraft after being subjected to the ridiculousness of it in its entirety,

• you’re expected to subdue anyone who remotely resembles a Muslim terrorist attempting to set off a bomb on board your aircraft.

Can we sue someone for incompetence here?

Fire. Them. All.

*     *     *

Something else I’ve wondered, and perhaps you have, too: Other than Timothy McVeigh, an Irish Catholic who wasn’t on an airplane and obviously wasn’t a Muslim,

• since 9/11 has there been a non-Muslim  who has been trying to blow my ass up?

< sound of cricket chirping >

I thought not.

Now certainly, if I can pick up on that teeny tiny bit of intelligence, I’m wondering why the experts aren’t able to grasp it, run with it, and solve the problem – each and every time.

Please consider the foregoing public service announcement a clue for the following:

• CATSA;
• Transport Canada;
• RCMP;
• TSA;
• Homeland Security;
• FBI.

Macleans magazine has a pretty good and lengthy article on airport stupidity. Oops, did I say airport stupidity? I should be getting a visit from the stupidity merchants any day now.

*Yes, it’s an indignity to be subjected to being refused permission to use a lavatory; refused permission to stand up; refused permission to get out of the seat; refused permission to have a blanket or a pillow; refused permission to have access to your possessions in the overhead bin.

If I was back in kindergarten I wouldn’t be subject to such abuses. Why do I have to pay the airlines to do it to me? Note to chickenshit airlines: Start talking to CATSA and the TSA about these and other stupidities that are so affecting your financial bottom lines.

That’ll make ‘em think they’re safe.

• No standing up during the last hour of the flight.
• No en-route access to flight information .
• No access to overhead bins.
• No blankies.
• No pillows.
• No going to the bathroom.
• No getting out of your seat.
• Keep your hands in plain sight, and for goodness’ sake, don’t raise one to ask to go to the bathroom, or you’ll be put on a no-fly list (which is probably a blessing in disguise these days). Or worse, you’ll be manhandled, shackled and treated like a common criminal, even if you are an 80-year-old grandmother who doesn’t wear a diaper.

And finally,

• do not under any circumstance, reach into or scratch your crotch!

What the hell!? Are we all back in grade skool, where we need permission to pick our noses and scratch our asses?

Oh, and unnamed (because they’re afraid they’ll be lynched) “government officials” aren’t talking about the restrictions, in case, you know, some incontinent grandmother from Temecula might want to disrupt a flight by using a washroom. The temerity!

Did anyone think to tell the guilty schoolchildren getting off of the flights that they’re not supposed to talk about such childish things to the ever-vigilant media asshats? Round those dogggies bastards passengers  up, chain them together, put their names on all of the no-fly lists that can be found, and pack them off to Guantanamo – or to some prison in Illinois where citizens need the work.

Joe Sharkey puts it all in perspective.

(Canada is) behaving with all the sophistication of a chimpanzee’s tea party

But before you get here, clean up your own back yard, and keep your limey prejudices to yourself.

A concerted campaign has now begun to expel Canada from the Commonwealth.

Finally! Thank you, Jesus! The Commonwealth has been an underachiever for decades now. It’s primary raison d’être was for the benefit of the motherland, more commonly known at the time as Great Britain. Britain isn’t so great now.

Canada now threatens the wellbeing of the world.

More than China. More than the United States. More than Pakistan. More than any other country in the world. Imagine that.

Canada.

You bastards out there had better be on your toes, or we Canadians will drag you down to the level of, uhh, something or other. Maybe.

turning this lovely country (Canada) into a cruel and thuggish place.

Been to Nairobi recently, have you?

I am so tired of the klimate klowns and their incessant whining and sniveling. They ignore the problems in their own back yards, all the while insisting that this nation or that nation or another nation over there, somewhere, is the real culprit of climate change, diamond mines, gold mines, logging, rainforest stripping, desert wind, camel dung, cloudy skies and poor tipping.

Kiss my fat, white, wrinkled Canadian ass. Furthermore, while you’re flying over, just keep right on going to some country that you might actually want in your Commonwealth of nations. If you don’t like it here, go somewhere else.

Unfortunately, I don’t think this guy would like it anywhere.

Link to his guardian.uk article here, from whence the quotes come.

You just have to love the environmentalists among us – even the ones in the motherland, if you’ll pardon the pun. Here are samples of the awe-inspiring, jaw-dropping, world-wide non-events that we should be concerned about, according to Leo & Lucy of the guardian.uk. Or, more likely, those items appealing to fast-disappearing newspaper subscribers in the internet age, apropos of a going-green column.

• Pesky Christmas lights. Should we dump them in favor of, umm, something that burns less energy, but costs us more money to replace? Oh why not? It’s only money. And a class thing as well, if you light up your entire house. A class thing? What’s with that?
• Now then, you’re wanting to be a tourist, are you? Planning on flying or taking a barge home for Christmas? With all that pollution you emit on your aeroplane, ocean liner, truck, van, automobile? Then find a sleigh, a horse, a feed-bag and a shit-bag and tour locally. Added bonus: What goes in the front end and comes out the back can be burned for heat.
• After all that, are you still wanting to put up a tree? What about those poor Georgian natives, slaving away on treetops to ensure enough seed for Denmark to grow it for you?
• Are you anxiously awaiting that Christmas card or parcel from a friend or loved-one? They don’t appear to have a green solution for that one, other than, Postman, tune up your vehicle. As for gift wrap, recycle those old scandal sheets.
• Those pesky plastic grocery bags must be replaced by paper. Does anyone not know someone who doesn’t use them for garbage bags? Now that’s recycling.
• Using a coal fire to stay warm? Nuh-uh. Use wood instead. That is, if you can find any in the forests of Great Britain, long-ago denuded by those eco-friendly ship builders of yore.
• Santa and his reindeer are another problem entirely. How much does it cost NORAD to track this Christmas abomination from the North Pole to various and sundry countries around the world? Let’s give his animals back to the Laplanders and sweep Santa Claus into the dustbin of Christmas past.

Oh yes, I know. Canada has a monstrously huge carbon-emission footprint. Really? Just how huge would that monstrously huge carbon-emission footprint be, Canadian?

Why, it’s two per-cent of the world’s problem. Yes, you heard me right. Two per-cent.

Now then, just how much money should I be spending to reduce that to 1.5 percent? One percent? Zero? Is zero, in fact, realistic for any country? I doubt it very much.

Come on, how much should I be spending? How much should my government be spending to reduce an absolutely meaningless two per-cent emission problem to, say, one per-cent?

I’d bet good money that the cooking fires, tire fires, camp fires and dump fires in all of Africa emit more pollution than Canada. Let’s get those Dark Continent polluters to do their bit for the environment forthwith.

Oh wait, we can’t. They get a pass because they’re already living in filth and starvation, as they have for thousands of years. Perhaps we should send them a few of our extra plastic garbage bags and show those Africans how to clean up their act.

Good luck with that.