The Shitstain is coming! The Shitstain is coming!

Poor Mexico. First on the To Be Invited Invaded list. Given The Shitstain’s yuuuge military qualifications, he’ll probably direct the silly fuckers to the north. Oh Canada, you aren’t on the list yet, but I’m pretty certain you will be, right after Australia.

The list, so far (updated periodically):

  • Chicago (sorry, Mexico. You’re number 2. We all know number 2 tries harder.)
  • Mexico
  • Australia
  • Iran
  • Lawyers
  • The Middle East (not a country, but whatevs)
  • Europe (yeah, I know. It’s not a country, but The Shitstain thinks it is.)
  • Urropean
  • More to come as The Shitstain consults with his family and a world map.

I’d bet Mexico was wishing the wall had been built a lot sooner. Can you imagine that poor country full of stupid, ignorant, uneducated, illiterate Americans that can’t shoot straight?

Mexico doesn’t have too much to worry about. A pack of confused, deluded gringos  will arrive, wander aimlessly, quote scripture, speak an incomprehensible dialect of The Shitstain’s language, and get sunburned, all while dressed in camo. Based on images of invading Shitstain armies, the really cool sunglass quotient will go over the wall, causing more of a demand for made in China goods and services.

Given that The Shitstain’s troops haven’t been responsible for winning a war in many decades, I doubt much harm will come to bad hombres. If anything, drug use and smuggling by The Shitstain’s returning troops/generals will most likely ensure overflowing cartel coffers forever.

For the love of king and country,

will someone in the current American administration please, please find a box of really thick, big, long yuuuuge crayons with not too many colored selections choices thingies pointy bits and tell the grand master to keep the scrawling between the lines?

Speaking of shitstains (with apologies to The Shitstain), Les Moonves, how are ya feelin’ about corporate media’s bottom line now, versus America’s rock bottom? Do you have anything you might like to add? How about doubling down on the “good for the CBS bottom line”?

Send in the feds*

It’s for the rich.
Aren’t we a pair?
Me here at last in charge,
You say bad things.
Send in the Feds.
It’s for the rich.
You must approve.
One who keeps screwing around,
One who can’t decide.
Where are the Feds?
Send in the Feds.

*with apologies to Send in the Clowns, which probably doesn’t mean what you think it means.

Presidential ClownCar is going to be a doozie

My popcorn of choice for the shit-show that began 18 months ago and is now non-stop.

My popcorn of choice for the shit-show that began 18 months ago and is now non-stop.

Sit back, relax, and enjoy the non-stop show with a 44-pack of popcorn that isn’t too bad. Worldwide 24-hour news networks never had it so easy. As for boot-licking American “news” networks, good luck with that.

Of course, if a liquid refreshment makes things more palatable, go for it, but I simply can’t condone being drunk for as long as it will take for my friends and neighbors to the south to rid themselves of this presidential pestilence they have chosen to inflict upon the world.

Team Orange and transition

clown-carThe cliff is off-screen to the left.

No word yet on internment camps and a renewed HUAC, but any day now…

The Drumpster is well on his way to fucking it* up, as he has done with so many of his businesses.

I’m sorely tempted to call Trump Towering Inferno** and introduce myself as some miscellaneous foreign dick-tater who would like to offer congratulations to the Drumpster fire in the back alley.

Added bonus: The reports of scary clowns are way down now that one has been elected.

*A country, this time.

**With apologies to a movie of the same name.