Achtung you MAGA Hillbillies arriving for the G6 meeting in Canada

Dear President shitstain,

Please take your racist Heil Hitler Nazi shit-stained fat lying ass back to the shithole you came from. MAGA and its fuck-ups, Democrats, Republicans, and the rich desperately need you to continue making it great.

Yours truly,

Canada

P.S. Yer a fookin’ pussy, too. Better at firing blanks than bullets. This after the G6 meeting concluded:

Trump’s economic adviser Larry Kudlow** also slammed Trudeau’s message on CNN’s State of the Union, suggesting it was a betrayal of the U.S. president before Trump meets North Korean Leader Kim Jong-un in Singapore Tuesday.

“You don’t walk away and start firing bullets,” Kudlow said.

“POTUS is not going to let a Canadian prime minister push him around … on the eve of this,” he said firmly. “Kim must not see American weakness.”

** Poor ole Larry couldn’t find his other brother, Sober Larry, to go on in his stead, so CNN let the drunk talk until every American started to believe his bullshit. One thing I’ve known for a long time – in fact I think forever – is that drunk, sober or stoned, an American is not an American unless and until he believes his own bullshit.

Yeah, I know. I don’t have television any more. I just had to go on youtube to witness the great American spectacle. I am so sorry I did. Please forgive me for my transgression.

MAGA Hillbillies are revolting* in Georgia

Adel, Cooks County, Georgia, known as a MAGA Shithole on America’s Very. Own. Shores.

On I-75, a popular route for snowbirds heading south, a speeding Canadian driver was arrested, handcuffed, and thrown in jail for driving with a Canadian driver’s licence. Note that it wasn’t the speeding that was a problem. Good luck getting some of those Canadian tourist dollars in the former Puddleville.

My greatest hope is that all the Great American States, in their haste to Make America Great Again (good luck with that), will copy Georgia’s initiative, and do the same.

God. Save. The. Queen.

Can you believe this shit? In another life (the same as this life), Adel was known as Puddleville. Because POTHOLES. The site makes no mention of Hillbilly Assholes, but seeing as it’s not far from Valdosta…

I wonder if it was raining.

Enough of that New Deal shit, too. Georgia has obviously had enough education rammed down its fair citizens’ throats. Chief Hillbilly Chad Castleberry wants you all to know how committed and dedicated his Professional Hillbillies are to serving the public.

* take it any way you want it

President Shitstain comments on… something

What the fuck is this shitstain babbling about? What the world really wants to know is, how much White House Pussy is he grabbing? This is what we get instead:

Look, having nuclear—my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart—you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I’m one of the smartest people anywhere in the world—it’s true!—but when you’re a conservative Republican they try—oh, do they do a number—that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune—you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged—but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me—it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are (nuclear is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what’s going to happen and he was right—who would have thought?), but when you look at what’s going on with the four prisoners—now it used to be three, now it’s four—but when it was three and even now, I would have said it’s all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don’t, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years—but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us. –President Shitstain

The Shitstain is coming! The Shitstain is coming!

Poor Mexico. First on the To Be Invited Invaded list. Given The Shitstain’s yuuuge military qualifications, he’ll probably direct the silly fuckers to the north. Oh Canada, you aren’t on the list yet, but I’m pretty certain you will be, right after Australia.

The list, so far (updated periodically):

  • Chicago (sorry, Mexico. You’re number 2. We all know number 2 tries harder.)
  • Mexico
  • Australia
  • Iran
  • Lawyers
  • The Middle East (not a country, but whatevs)
  • Europe (yeah, I know. It’s not a country, but The Shitstain thinks it is.)
  • Urropean
  • More to come as The Shitstain consults with his family and a world map.

I’d bet Mexico was wishing the wall had been built a lot sooner. Can you imagine that poor country full of stupid, ignorant, uneducated, illiterate Americans that can’t shoot straight?

Mexico doesn’t have too much to worry about. A pack of confused, deluded gringos  will arrive, wander aimlessly, quote scripture, speak an incomprehensible dialect of The Shitstain’s language, and get sunburned, all while dressed in camo. Based on images of invading Shitstain armies, the really cool sunglass quotient will go over the wall, causing more of a demand for made in China goods and services.

Given that The Shitstain’s troops haven’t been responsible for winning a war in many decades, I doubt much harm will come to bad hombres. If anything, drug use and smuggling by The Shitstain’s returning troops/generals will most likely ensure overflowing cartel coffers forever.

For the love of king and country,

will someone in the current American administration please, please find a box of really thick, big, long yuuuuge crayons with not too many colored selections choices thingies pointy bits and tell the grand master to keep the scrawling between the lines?

Speaking of shitstains (with apologies to The Shitstain), Les Moonves, how are ya feelin’ about corporate media’s bottom line now, versus America’s rock bottom? Do you have anything you might like to add? How about doubling down on the “good for the CBS bottom line”?