In another life I spent six years roaming around North America and Mexico sitting on a motorcycle. I dug in in a small town in SoCal, where I became enamored of the local flora, and more than a few of the fauna – if you’ll pardon the expression. I managed to get tangled up for a brief time with someone who was working her way towards an associate degree – whatever the hell that is. (Don’t bother writing back. I know what it is. It’s nothing – at least where I come from.)

Procrastination and life got in the way of this person. Subsequently she mentioned that she needed two papers, both due in a couple of days. I already knew that the papers were only five pages, or, in my life, what I considered a walk in the park. She went off to work, and six hours later I came up with both papers completed and in the required MLA format.

I have no idea whether she handed them in, or not, because I found myself accused of having plagiarized both of them. I hadn’t, of course. Who the hell can’t pound out five pages of meaningless, original horseshit for a college in America? (If you can’t, don’t bother telling me about it. I can.)

But I digress. The reason is in the chart below, where I learned that I could have charged 40 bucks a crack. You’ll find the link at the bottom of the image.