Not satisfied with its earlier February non-warning about deadly, exploding toothpaste, as well as their inability to find any of said deadly, exploding toothpaste, Der Homeland Stasi now has come up with a new threat an old threat re-visited. That’s right, komrads of Der Homeland. It’s shoes. Bombs in shoes. Exploding shoes. Breast implants. Buttock implants. Breast milk. You dirty komrads are exceeding the bounds of believability.

Next?

Danger Will Robinson.