Let us all praise Der Homeland Stasi’s latest threat to The Homeland

Not satisfied with its earlier February non-warning about deadly, exploding toothpaste, as well as their inability to find any of said deadly, exploding toothpaste, Der Homeland Stasi now has come up with a new threat an old threat re-visited. That’s right, komrads of Der Homeland. It’s shoes. Bombs in shoes. Exploding shoes. Breast implants. Buttock implants. Breast milk. You dirty komrads are exceeding the bounds of believability.


Danger Will Robinson.

I think it is fantastic that America isn’t the only country bugging phone conversations

American foreign policy – the country has a foreign policy, right? – triumphs yet again.

How not to Install an American puppet in Ukraine. Victoria Nuland

Thanks to the BBC for the informed comment.

As well, a view from Canada.

What goes around, comes around, and will bite you in the ass more often than not:

Awkward attempts to question “morality” in such revelations sound especially hypocritical from a global spying power that monitors and controls most of the mobile phone and internet users activities, taps the phone lines of world leaders, and oversees the world’s most far-reaching wire-tapping program. –globalresearch.ca

Oh yeah!

Reportedly, Obama the Black Butcher wants to kill a U.S. citizen with a drone strike

What’s stopping Obama from launching the drone strike? He’s never been averse to killing a U.S. child on foreign soil, or the child’s father. I’m surprised that he’s even hesitating.

Better yet, bring the guy home and kill him on U.S. soil by means of a drone strike. That would put to rest any semblance of recognizing that the country has a Constitution, to be sure. And that killer Obama is a Constitutional lawyer. Jesus, but does it never end for a country that has become no better in some ways than a third world dictatorship?


Apparently, it’s quite “controversial.”

No guns. “Another reason not to venture to the dark north.”

“Screw Canada.”

It’s all because someone thought didn’t think:

“it’s not beyond the realm of possibility that someone would forget a gun in their car,” a Canadian lawyer said. It’s no different than leaving a pair of hockey skates in your car in Canada. And you American basterds stole all of Canada’s Good Hockey Players.

Sorry, but I just couldn’t help editorializing with that last sentence. I am driven to say that Canadian and lawyer are kind of an oxymaroon when taken in that context.

Thank you, American Gun Nuts supreme. Canada needs more publicity like this in order for that wall to get as high as possible. Please tell everyone. Oh, wait. The NRA is quite capabley doing that.

Der Homeland Stasi says der homeland isn’t threatened

“The homeland”, whatever the fuck that is, is safe for now. You all can keep on keeping on brushing your tooth.

“We are not aware of a specific [toothpaste] threat to the homeland at this time [but we keep on keeping up hope],” Der Homeland Stasi said. “This routine communication is an important part of our commitment to making sure we meet that priority.” –Der Homeland Stasi, otherwise known as Der Homelant St, err, The Department of Homeland Security, or some shit like that.

Shouldn’t “the H” be capitalized, as in The Homeland? How remiss of The Stasi not to get it right. Will someone please find a literate Republican to form a Congressional committee to investigate this transgression? kthx

As of this moment, there is no word on any recent mall or school shootings, but I’m certain that will change imminently.