America. Keeping itself safe from…


Update: Now, apparently, it was that old See Something Say Something bugaboo that found its mark. Der Homeland Stasi rules!

You just know that the Government Illiterati™ have no clue what a rice cooker is either, but I see the government klowns covered that about halfway down the page. Jesus. And he even invited them into his home, you know, because they had nothing to hide. Until they get in there and comb through the place. Books on shelves. Dangerous books. Pictures hung on walls. Dangerous pictures.

And all that other stuff, you know, that the government illiterates don’t understand.

they were peppering my husband with questions. Where is he from? Where are his parents from? They asked about me, where was I, where do I work, where do my parents live. Do you have any bombs, they asked. Do you own a pressure cooker? My husband said no, but we have a rice cooker. Can you make a bomb with that? My husband said no, my wife uses it to make quinoa. What the hell is quinoa, they asked. – cookers, backpacks and quinoa, oh my!

It could be me, but more questions come to mind:

How do you know you can’t make a bomb with a rice cooker? Did someone show you? Did you read about it? Did someone tell you? Who told you? Where are they now? Do you know if your neighbors own a rice cooker? Who are all those people in the photos? Do you know where they are now? How do you know them? Do you have phone numbers for them? Do you mind if we look through your address book? Your notebooks? Your letters and the rest of your mail? Show me your credit card statements, because “we” need to know where, exactly, you bought that rice cooker.

In ten years, if it takes even that long, the country will be unrecognizable. Thankfully, I waved goodbye years ago.

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