Watching a Febreze commercial

is like tuning in to a hillbilly hoarders reality teevee nightmare. The advertising agency that came up with that idea should be drawn, quartered, and sentenced to grandma’s house for an extensive cleanup of the hoarding mess. The Febreze executives that green-lighted it should be fired.

The bad: I was going to present an imaginary conversation with the company executives, but I figured just one viewing of any of their commercials would be enough to make everyone in the trailer throw up.

The good: If you were stupid enough to buy into the hype, you can walk into your trailer’s bathroom and squeeze one out* to cover up the refined bouquet of the puke.

*No, silly. I was thinking more along the lines of squeezing one out of their fragrant bottles. Although, if one does run out of underwear, one could always Febreze the shit out of it. I guess.

Or, you could Febreze the shit out of the shorts you just paid 125 dollars for.

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