If you thought public rest areas across northern Ontario were just plain silly, you shouldn’t complain, because at least you had a tree to hide behind. Or a snowplow turnaround to litter with your urine deposit.

If only it were so simple on the wind-swept prairie!

It starts on the eastern Manitoba border with Ontario, and ends on the western Manitoba border with Saskatchewan. Two welcome centers, complete with facilities for those who have needs. Open only in the summertime.

That’s it!

Nada. Nothing. Rien.

Piss at your leisure, boys and girls.

Anywhere. Any time. Any place.

Just don’t expect ground cover.

On into Saskatchewan, see above. It’s the same.

Ditto with Alberta.

Oh, sure, there are some brown-signed rest areas, some with porta-potties, to be sure. But by the time you speed by the tiny brown sign announcing same, it’s too late, and you can’t get turned around on the four-lane to hit them, so to speak.

I wonder if the colour of the sign is reflective of how much importance the powers-that-be give to restroom facilities.

Perhaps they don’t give a shit.