Why can’t a man find a barber?

I’ve had my hair cut in countless cities and towns in North America and Mexico. Why is it that if you want a basic haircut, you have to travel to a small town to get one? Has the availability of basic barber skills in the city gone the way of the Tin Goose, never to be seen again except during rare moments of civic pride and air shows?

What’s with the “beauty parlor” that wants to wash, wax, trim, blow dry and mousse? Do I look like I need a wash? Is my face dirty? My hair matted?

Well, okay, perhaps after a long day in the saddle I look to be a bit on the scummy side, but I clean up pretty good, and besides, I never go for a haircut looking like that anyway. I consider these “beauty parlor barbers” to be similar to the barber-surgeons of old, and thus must resort to blow-and-go quackery to hide ignorance of basic hair cutting skills.

What is needed is the reintroduction of the “Worshipful Company of Barbers”, as founded in 1308 to oversee the trade in London. The Master would make the rounds and chastise those he found disgracing it. He also had the power to prevent imposters from practicing the profession. Another 14th century Barbers Guild could imprison barbers for their transgressions against the profession.

All that sounds fair to me.