Canada now has seven wonders Seven Wonders? Who could have known? All Seven thanks to a recent oh-so-typical Canadian effort, ignoring the vote of the wildly unfocused masses who inhabit the country, and instead relying on the vagaries of a pop singer, a scribe who so obviously wants to hawk his recent work and a woman who appears to want Canada to accommodate every minority’s right to be recognized and served in its own language.
Good luck with all that.
After much ballyhooing, bullshit and bravado, a poll, which was subsequently ignored in its entirety, inviting ordinary Canadians – whatever the hell they are – to vote in favor of their own piece of ordinary Canada, a myopic panel composed of those three judges ignored the popular vote and decided on the following:
- Niagara Falls
- Canoe
- Igloo
- Old Quebec City
- Pier 21 in Halifax
- Prairie Sky
- The Rockies
The canoe? What the hell? If you’re looking for tourists, don’t hype a canoe as a wonder. You can see one in any outdoor store. Although, were I a judge with a fiction novel named Canoe Lake, and a more recent effort aimed at explaining Canada to Canadians, I’m not surprised by that outcome.
An igloo? Don’t these melt every spring? Where are you going to travel to see one during the summer, when the ignorant masses are out and about, gobbling up gas and sunshine? I suppose one could go here. The bottom third sort of looks like an igloo.
Prairie sky? Who the hell knows what a prairie sky is, unless you’re Canadian? How about calling it “the sky between Alberta and Ontario, through which you have to drive for days to get somewhere relevant?” Actually, there’s prairie sky in America, Russia, China and many other countries around the world. It’s not unique, it just goes by a different name. This picture appears to be of prairie sky, but it’s actually taken in Montana, so it’s Montana sky.
The Rockies? Well, all right. I’ll grant you that, they’re a natural wonder, like Niagara Falls, and they’re pretty spectacular. The Alps are kind of nice too. So are the mountains in Patagonia.
Christ, no wonder Canadians are so boring.
Unfortunately, the expressions of wrath by the ordinary Canadian in response to the fiasco have been removed from the web site, most likely because their responses were so outspoken (that’s outspoken, not obscene) in their utter and total comtempt for the judges and their choices, so I can’t provide a link.
Take the Central Avenue exit.