on the road

Road rules

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in Rules

  • Never eat at a place called Mom’s.
  • Never ride close to another vehicle that advertises the driver’s name as Sixpack.
  • Never pull into a dark, isolated interstate rest stop after dark.
  • Never walk into a bar where the half-ton trucks parked on the lot have rifle racks and rifles hanging in the rear window.
  • Watch your back in a parking lot.
  • If the dancer says she needs a ride home, tell her yes, but watch your back on the way to the door.
  • If you pick up a hitchhiker named Angel on an on-ramp on the interstate near Deming, beware that she doesn’t talk you into taking her to a folk festival on a back road off of highway 666.
  • If it feels as though it might be time to leave, go with your instinct. It’s usually right.
  • When you wake up and find yourself alive and riding on the wrong side of the yellow line, stop and take a break to live a little longer.

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